SMS Luv

I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.

I’m not trying to hit on you, or throw you a line. I just want you to be my Valentine.

Valentine’s Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don’t have a special someone, you’re alone. -Lewis Black

I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day! – Jay Leno